our cycle that began on november 25, 2006.
5 months ago i wrote this post.
and last night, i found my way back to my bestfriend. i ended up going to his apartment, eating garbage plates (if you’re not from Rochester, NY, you’re missing out on some delicious plates), and watching movies. it was nice. peaceful. normal.
i think the thing that still gets me is that after so much time, it still feels so normal to interact with him. we’re just that close. we run away and always come back. i can always go back to him and he can always come back to me.
i’m not sure what i want out of it. i know i’m happy when i’m with him. i know he’s happy too. i know i’m content in such a peaceful way, it’s like nothing happening outside of our conversation matters. i don’t even need to say anything around him for him to know what’s going on in my head, for him to get me. we’re just that close.
so what now? I have no idea. he’s going to a new school next semester, coincidentally in the same town i am probably moving to. maybe a sign? maybe not at all, but i know we’ll be physically close and now mentally close and emotionally close. maybe that’s something, maybe it isn’t. i kinda just wanna play it out. hang out more, see where things go, how God works in it. I kinda just wanna keep it quiet, no one really knows about it. no pressure from anyone else. i kinda just wanna get our feelings straight, because it’s almost like i’m not me when i’m not around him. so maybe it’s time for it to work, or maybe it’s time to just have another cycle of growing close and falling away. it just feels differently now, a good different. hmmmmm.