What, A, Day.

I’m not even sure how to feel about today. It felt like a normal day, well normal as to lately. I’ve been pretty isolated in thought lately. I guess I have a lot going on, and I feel like men are usually the source of a good portion of my thought. I’ve been thinking about what I want, what I can’t settle for. I’m getting sick of settling for guys who hurt me, usually unintentionally. But either way, I get hurt. I end up hurting myself to. I guess sometimes, I get reckless with my thoughts and my feelings. I end up loving something about someone rather than that person as a whole. In the end, I’m unsatisfied. 

I don’t want to be unsatisfied anymore.

uhrwerk-und-eisen:

NO J.K. ROWLING NO THESE ARE THE KINDS OF THINGS YOU KEEP TO YOURSELF

BRB CRYING FOREVER

(Source: geekisshowing)

Back to Blogging

Life always brings me back to blogging. I’m not sure exactly why I end up posting my feelings all over a media device that never allows me to actually delete them, but I do. I do journal, but I type faster, and I guess I secretly desire someone to read my thoughts and reply with some sort of profound advice that will impact my life and I’ll have some sort of epiphany. Yet, that seems to never happen and in the end I feel alone, talking to a brick wall and discussing the complexity of life with the voices in my head.

Even with a boyfriend, or close friend, or best friend, I feel alone. No one has ever attempted to break down the walls, which are as intense as the Great Wall of China, in my head. I have no reason why I don’t let people in. I guess that’s a lie. I do. But I feel like I hurt people more than I am hurt by others. Maybe that’s the issue. I feel like I destroy people. 

Sometimes, I feel emotionless. I feel like I’m walking this earth, mundane, dry, stale and emotionless. In the end, I revert back to numbness and I trap myself in my head. In my head, I’m safe, and so is everyone else. There’s noting else I can do… at least that’s how I feel. Trapped. Safe. Exhausted by myself. 

Pistachio. Genesis. Theo.

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Found three orphaned kittens today at my college.

They are about 3 1/2-4 weeks old. One’s kinda sick, but the other two are eating and healthy looking. Nursing them on a bottle with kitten formula until I can find them homes. 

They are precious and cuddle :)

Kittens are sleeping in a bin with old t-shirts as blankets, but when I put them on my floor next to my bed, they would not stop mewing. So, I put them back on my bed and they stopped. I tried to put them on the floor again and they start to mew. Well, a full-grown me and a 30qt bin in my twin bed are going to make for an interesting night.  

going on a walk as soon as my ipod charges.

my dog likes to play with the kitten but is never sure how to without hurting her. 

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tomorrow is my birthday. wow.

i will no longer be a teenager. 

Nobody knows what we’re for only against when we judge the wounded. What if we put down our signs crossed over the lines and loved like You did?

Jesus, friend of sinners. 

reminding myself that 23% body fat, being 5’7 and 135lbs IS a healthy body weight.

i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. i will not listen to society. 


i will not listen to society.